I Want A Wedding Like the Vanderbilts Have

It doesn’t matter if I want a wedding in a big church lots of ushers in tailcoats, reporters and photographers or if I want an old fashioned wedding, blessed in that good old fashioned way what I’ll get a shell of a marriage. It will have all the love and commitment, friends there to cheer and help us celebrate. What it won’t have is the legal backing of the Commonwealth of Kentucky or the United States of America.

I will have a partner for life. He’ll have a very devoted Bear. There will be ups, downs, challenges, but we won’t share in very basic things.  There 1100 rights and responsibilities given to the legally married that wouldn’t be given to us. My husband wouldn’t automatically be given say in my care, treatment, or burial method; I’m strongly leaning to leaving my mortal remains to some scientific something or other — just for the record. He would not share in my Social Security benefits — at all. I work for a company that offers same sex domestic partner benefits, so he could sign up — but those benefits would be subject to taxes because he’s not legally my spouse, and he’s not entitled to use funds from my Health Savings Account. These are both IRS stipulations not from my employer.

There’s some progress, I think. With the, hopefully soon, ending of “Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell” if the Lily Prince were a military man we could live somewhat openly. I really don’t know what it means for the Reserves and the National Guard.

Events in Egypt have us declaring ourselves to be about Truth, Justice, and the American Way. We’re the City on the Hill. We also allow our states to build discrimination into their constitutions. We’re so busy needing the official loser that we don’t see that we’re wrong when we make people suffer because of our twisted sense of schadenfreude.

I know I am preaching to the choir here. And I’d far rather be preaching to the perverted. : )= However, I will step up regularly to point out that what’s happening is wrong. Remember my friends, for an æon or two I was against all marriage as an outdated form of control and property transfer. I’ve changed my mind by educating myself on what comes from marriage. It’s time to send that education out to some people whose minds are welded shut.

Come this time in another year round just maybe I’ll have found my Lily Prince and be blissfully and legally wedded to him. May it be so.

 

Freedom to Marry

Honestly, I don’t care if it’s a wedding in a big church with bridesmaids and flower girls or some day in some  little chapel — some day when orange blossoms bloom. I just want to get married to Mr. Wonderful. I don’t want to take away what anyone else has. I simply want equality. I expect nothing more, and I’ll accept nothing less.

May it be so.

Get Off Your Barstool

Candles Across Our Commonwealth

The Kentucky Fairness Alliance

A Stonewall Candlelight Vigil
“Candles Across Our Commonwealth”

Sunday June 28th · 8:00pm-9:00pm
Dr Martin Luther King Jr Park
corner of 6th St and Chestnut St, in the shadow of the Mazzoli Federal Building
Join as cities across the Commonwealth, mark
the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising.
On this night we will honor the historical struggles which have brought us
to where we are today and the struggles ahead as we begin to address many
issues in our immediate future

· Fairness ordinances across the Commonwealth
· Statewide Fairness law
· Repeal of the Defense of Marriage act
· Passing of the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act
· Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
· …and so much more

 

One More

New Hampshire joins Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and Maine as states where same sex marriage is legal. I’m glad that bigotry has been struck down in one more state — at least legalized bigotry. It’s still there in the hearts and minds of  some citizens.

What troubles me though is that these marriages aren’t recognized by the federal government. The legally married are forced to file their taxes as singles. Move to a state like Kentucky, and your marriage isn’t recognized at all. I’m also fairly sure that it doesn’t entitle you to the social security benefits under your spouse. To be honest, I’m not at all sure what other rights are at the federal level, but I do know that piece mealing marriage state by state isn’t the answer.

We need a sweeping, landmark decision by the federal government — as has been done with other civil rights legislation. We need the president and congress to stand not only on the side of love but on the side of righteousness. We need the branches executive, legislative, and judicial to speak with one, strong, clear voice, that hatred and discrimination are wrong and will not be tolerated in or by the United States. If we are to be that City on the Hill, then we cannot — must not — hold any of our citizenry in bondage.

To be truly free we must unfetter the shackles from all our neighbors. We must make our voices heard and speak for what will make us Righteous Among Nations.

So on this day, I am happy for my brothers and sisters in New Hampshire. I dance in spirit at all their weddings. But I call for the greater good. I call for true equality. I call for federal recognition of same sex marriage in these United States.

Straight

 

Many thanks to Randal.

Married in Iowa!

In Iowa a judge has overturned the ban on same sex marriage as unconstitutional. In the middle of America, same sex couples have earned the right to get married and enjoy the same civil rights as everyone else. While it’s a fantastic day when marriage equality is declared anywhere, I can hardly wait until there’s no longer a question. According to MSNBC.com “Friday morning, the Rev. Mark Stringer declared the two [Sean Fritz and Tim McQuillan] legally married in a wedding on Unitarian minister’s front lawn in Des Moines.”

I want — no I demand — the federal, state, and local laws recognize and protect the sanctity of my marrige — beginning with the wedding in a big church with lots of ushers in tail coats, reports and photographers, but as always I digress.

In Iowa it may be short lived depending on the rulings by the Iowa State Supreme Court. But even if it was just a few couples, for one fine day, marriage was equal in the Heartland.

Married in Canada

It’s always a good time to promote civil marriage as a civil right.

To Love and Honour Yes, but Not Obey

It’s that time of year when I, again, try to convert the converted and preach to the choir about marriage equality.  Do your part, speak up. Speak out. Let your voice be heard proclaiming that until all people have equal marriage rights  under the law all marriages are in jeopardy and suspect.

I’m glad to have a President who supports LGBT rights, but I’m hurt that he doesn’t support same sex marriage. At one point, as I overcame my Marxist views on marriage, I thought that civil unions were okay as long as they granted the same rights. Then I recalled Brown v Board of Education, and I realized that separate but equal is still a means to discriminate. Someone else’s relationship would be considered better than mine, and that, my friend, is unacceptable. So, while President Obama has my support, I see a lot of room for improvement.

We’ve come a long way since Harvey Milk first ran for office in San Fransisco, but we’ve got a long, long way to go. We need our allies, our our sibling queers, and yes maybe even a few neo-cons (who understand fairness) to stand up for Fairness, Civil Liberty, and Equality. After all, you can’t hold anyone in a ditch without getting muddy yourself.

Civil Marriage is a Civil Right

Freedom to Marry Day is February 12, 2009.

Were the World Mine

I found this trailer at Queer Beacon.