In honour of National Coming Out Day…
Some years ago, I read an article that discussed how to come out to family and friends. It talked about neutral, safe spaces and trying not to answer hysteria (if met) with hysteria. As I recall, it was a good article, but (much like the one I read on the perfect kiss) I’ve done a little better following my instinct. I’ve found that just being who I am is enough to get me through any situation.
Often in gay themed media parents and friends are supposed to freak out or answer “I know” when you come out to them. I got neither. By the time I came out, my father was dead, and Mom, being the fag hag, had a fairly lackadaisical reaction. “Oh, okay,” was what I recall getting. And the only time my sister had any freakishness was when, a few weeks after telling her, she realized we were lusting after the same, cute construction worker as he jackhammered the asphalt.
To be honest, there are people who don’t realize that I’m gay. After all, I’m a bear. I’m not a nelly queen (Gods bless ‘em) or a twink. I don’t drag. Think of all that shaving! Despite my BDSM affiliation, I’m not one of the Castro Clones. I’m just me. Sometimes I forget that my sexual preference is not quite as obvious as my tattoos, and I’ll just start talking about some gay topic. It’s amazing when I have to go back and come out before I can move on.
To me being out is not some political statement. It’s being free to be me with all of my fortes and foibles — some tied to my sexuality, some not-so-much. My homosexuality does influence my world view, and when others know that fact, they can being to better understand, and know, me. Only by being true to ourselves can our potential become kinetic. Only when we all learn mutual acceptance and mutual respect can our community become that city on the hill we hear about so often, and only when we strive to our own greatness can we help humanity earn its place among the Stars.
