“What’s a Bear,” my friend asked. And I honestly didn’t have a great answer for him because it’s such a word of contentious definition among gay men. Typically though, Bears are seen as masculine, hairy, and usually bearded. Many of us are also a little hefty, but there are thin Bears (Wolves or Otters), and Cubs who are typically younger bears, but I’ve met 50 year old Cubs (indicating that he’s a Power Bottom). I often say that my goal is to be a Muscle Bear – a work in progress to be sure. I can’t talk about Bears without a nod to my favorite sub-category: the Leather Bears. Now just to make matters more confusing, I’ve got a lesbian friend whose, yes female, partner is so butch she identifies with the Bear Community.
My take on all of this is that there’s room at my Table for everyone: the big, the little, the hairy, the smooth, the muscled, the frail, and yes, Babycakes, even the occasional lesbian. Our FABGLITTER community is growing, and most unfortunately sometimes growing divisive. My call is to stretch out my arms to the Bull Dyke, the Nellie Queen, the Fag Stag, Flame Dame, and anyone else who calls me friend. By embracing, not limiting, we’ll push past all the artificial barriers and make a land in which we can all live our lives without regret or fear. We’ll create that longed for Shining City on a Hill.
